weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
