you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
