Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
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