Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
