Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize