the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
