i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
