its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
