Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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