I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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