You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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