She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
