if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
