..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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