remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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