I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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