Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize