Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
