I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
