I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
