We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
