I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Randomize
