how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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