Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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