So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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