So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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