Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
