new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
