So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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