Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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