This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
