you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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