Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
