Your favorite bartender is back from prision
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
