Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
