I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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