i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
It's never too late to be topless.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
