They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
