Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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