Pappa wants mamma naked
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
