I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
