im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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