Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
