No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize