My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
