508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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