Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
