That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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