Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
