the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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