New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
