Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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