Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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