Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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