OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
