have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
