well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
