Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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