I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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