Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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