I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
