I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize