I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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